Sunday, January 01, 2006

Horse Penis Mutilator Tales

The Biggest Loser
Without a doubt the Biggest Loser Award for 2005 has to go to the guy who dropped dead after er ... ummmm after having sex with a horse. And in case you've been buried alive for the past six months and haven't read the story or heard about it, here's part of the story from the Seattle Times.....I couldn't make this stuff up and I can create some pretty weird crap! Can anyone tell me where on earth is Enumclaw???????????

By Nicole Brodeur
Seattle Times staff columnist

Like me, you may have spent the past few days starting questions that you just couldn't finish out loud.
Questions about the man, the horse and the goings-on at that farm in Enumclaw. Why would he ... ?
And then, how did they ... ?
But then, wouldn't it ... ?
There are answers, to be sure. Just none I can print here.
But this I can: On July 2, a 45-year-old Seattle man died from something called acute peritonitis. His colon was perforated while he was having sex with a horse.
The man, who died before he was dropped off at Enumclaw Community Hospital, was traced back to a 40-acre farm where investigators found hundreds of hours of videotape depicting men, including the one who died, having sex with horses. He had bought the stallion earlier this year. His family told a reporter they were surprised at the purchase.

I assume the family gave this interview as they were leaving town under cover of darkness!

"I'm Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nobody's Victim
Over the years, I've come to appreciate that line from The Color Purple; "I may be ugly, I may be Black, (yada yada) but I'm here!!!!"
Ms. Celie defiantly screams these words to Mister, the symbol of all of her pain and oppression, as she reclaims her freedom and rides off with Shug to fulfill her destiny. I can relate. I used to feel shortchanged by life. I seemed to own that old 'raisin in the sun' imgery with all my dreams "deferred." Every time I made one step forward, something or someone came along to push my nose into the mud. It always took time to regroup. Despite mistakes and fear, regroup I always did. Eventually, I began to focus on the regrouping and to feel like a survivor. These days I honor the survivor in me. And so I welcome 2006 with confidence. I say, bring it on! Whatever "it" may be. I'll handle it. I'll be here and I will survive.
I Will Survive
by Gloria Gaynor

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive as long as I know how to love I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me!!!!
YEAH! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!