Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you! to the wise guides of the universe who steered me to Laura aka The Midlife Crisis Queen. Sometimes finding a solution begins with finding the right label for what you're going through. I'm not completely befuddled. I know I'm in crisis mode but I'm not alone and thanks to Ms. Laura, I know others have gone before me and come out the other end in tact.

Today is a day I had set aside for me. I keep thinking I must be doing something important to not waste these precious hours but I also feel that what I am doing must be exactly what I need for the moment. I should just relax with the flow of it all. I've come up with some affirmations for myself:
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I am creative
I am smart
I am intuitive
I am strong
I can change my present
I can shape my future
I can let go of the past
I will do it now
I will be fearless
I will activate my faith
I will believe in possibilities
I will take care of myself
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Then I wrote a letter to myself:

Dear Barbie:
You're way too hard on yourself and you don't give yourself any credit for how awesome you are. I'm telling you this because I love you and you're hurting right now. I don't want to see you hurt because you've had enough of that for a lifetime and you don't need to do it to yourself. You may waste a little pity on those you call the Daylight Robbers but don't shed any tears and mostly keep your 'Sparkles' 'cause you're going to need them soon. You have many gifts and you should start using them. The world needs you. Don't let anyone convince you that you are anything other than a creative loving force and a gift to all you come into contact with. Dust off your heart Barbie girl, your future is waiting and you don't want to miss the train. I'm with you all the way. You are never alone. I love you and god loves you too. You know god don't make mistakes, so stop acting like your life is a mistake. You are simply in training for the wonderfulness to come. Hop on the train girl. There are great things ahead.
Love, Hugs and Sunshine
Your Best Friend
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After that, I took a break from all the navel gazing and went to the kitchen. I do love the kitchen. I opened the Phylo pastry dough and made a dish with eggs, parsley, onions and tomatoes. I layered the dough in a quiche dish and poured in the eggs. Then I layered more dough, gave it an egg wash and put it in the oven for 20 minutes. I was thrilled when the whole thing began rising. I cooked asparagus and strips of ham and made a bechamel sauce with garlic and provolone for extra flavor. It was all too delicious for words. Being good to me feels great.

After a few minutes, the Spirit spoke to me and said I have all the right ingredients to rise just like those eggs and just like those eggs, it was up to me to put it all together. When I do I will be satisfied with the outcome. Hmmmmmmm. Very interesting. I hear Boston calling my name. Again.
Stay Tuned....