Waiting for the Light After a Demerol Chill Pill

I've been sidelined; knocked outta the game and it feels soooooo good! The universal decision maker in all his/her infinite wisdom decided that Barbie needed to chillax. After two auto accidents and a nasty fall durinig the past three years, I have injured the sciatic and aggravated the condition last week doing karate kicks in the pool on Wednesday. (These by the way are my favorite because I picture kickin' the shite outta the ex's and the Daylight Robbers (see previous posts). By Saturday night, I could barely move and at 5 am Sunday, I knew I needed the Emergency Room.

Funny how people's selfishness never surprises me. I called A woman I think of as a 'real' friend, a good Christ like woman, a nurse for gawd sake and asked if she would take me to the 'mergenceee room 'cause I had a reall emergency and that is not a phrase I thrw around lightly being that I am prone to bite the bullet and just roll on through life's tumbles. Well this friend suggested I call an ambulance. An ambulance costs $450 says I and besides who wants to be dumped unceremoniously alone and dejected at the mercy of an intake clerk who's been on a 20 hour week-end shift. After much experience being turned down in momemnts of need, I knew better than to ask my friend twice. "Sorry I bothered you says I."
I called another friend/acquaintence and she said , "I'll be right there!" Oh yes, the gods were at work on omy behalf. This was a sho nuff sign that the Barbie was to take a time out. I gulped tylonol #3 with codeine and a Kahluha and coffee chaser. It barely touched the pain but at least I wasn't screaming anymore. I was wheeled in to the ER and immediatley asked for a cute doctor. My priorities are unaffected by pain. Dr. E was cute, a little too much arm hair and he reeked of ciggy smoke but he said the majic words. "I'm giving you a shot." "A shot of what?," says I. "Demerol," says the Doc. I swear a Christmas light show went off in my brain! The heavenly choir shouted "OMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Finally drugs. real drugs to numb the psychic and physical pain. I am convinced that our emotional health is directed to our physical bodies and my mind has been twisted in knots for months. It was no surprise to me that the pain was now showing up in my joints. The good Doc even drew me a diagram. I got demerol and a steroid. Then he fixed me up with oxycontin (the drug of choice for addicts who can't get H), strong stuff, more steroids and a muscle relaxer. The Good Doc said I needed 7-10 days to get back to full mobility! No work, no prolonged standing or sitting. He drew arrows pointing upwards and showed me how both those actions aggravate the nerve. Can you say NIRVANA?

So here I am, brain in neutral waiting for what comes. Because surely some insight is to be gained from this which will push me in the direction I need to go but the epiphany has thus far eluded me while I chased the dust bunnies of nebulous priorties at work.

I will lay in bed. I will read the Dai li lama, Lisa Jones' Bulletproof Diva and June Jordan (Some of Us Didn't Die).....I will wait for the light to return to my soul.